For the first time in a while, I’m feeling right. Not sick. Not anxious. No belly full of butterflies, nausea in the pit of my stomach, afraid something is bad, bad wrong. I can’t put my finger on why exactly I was feeling that way, but that feeling has overtaken me for months, paralyzing me. Maybe it was just a string of random events, maybe it was just the winter doldrums. Does it really matter? I now feel like I can breathe, like there’s fresh ideas that might spring forth. When I look over and see Milo contemplating the Buddha, I can just laugh, feeling light and free and happy.
You’ve heard that before, many times, if you’re still out there. I’ve finally gotten around to fixing the look of the blog, and the rest of the site should follow in its footsteps shortly, along with getting my Gallery fixed and ZenCart running (if you have no idea what that means, it just means this site won’t be broke as shit for much longer).
We just got back from a fabulous trip to Japan that was much needed. There will be stories and pictures to come, but the pic above is a prelude to that visit, from a summer afternoon spent in San Francisco.
Not only was the trip relaxing, but between the trip and since being back, I’ve been able to delve into 4 books in the past week or two. Ahhhhh – it’s such a relaxing way to spend your time. One of the books, Kafka on the Shore, also warrants a separate post soon. It was an amazing book that really spoke to me for some reason. Another book, Outliers, which Raju was actually reading, had a chapter that gave me some insight into my innate mean-streak and the reason I get all fired up and ready to fight. It may warrant a mini post as well.
So tonight, the hubby is out. I decided to sit down, have a bottle of wine, and unwind. Checking the Netflix queue I settled upon Food, Inc. to watch, probably because of a quiz on YumSugar today about the same movie.
I was perusing the CB2 catalog, and half-watching this movie, while sipping my wine. Afterall, I’ve read Fast Food Nation and In Defense of Food. Not to mention Fat Land and The End of Overeating. I’ve watched my great-grandparents grow their own food, and I’ve started doing that on my own (yet to harvest, but SOON! at least on the broccoli rabe and Asian greens).
Slowly, I began paying more attention. First it was the chicks on a conveyor belt. Do you know how adorable chicks are? Those cute yellow birds that slide down the waterslide at the state fair? Imagine them on a conveyor belt, being stamped on the forehead. (more…)
Apparently this is a popular title for me. I saw this commercial last night and my first thought was “Island of Misfit Toys!!!”. I always loved this part, partially because of the polka-dotted elephant. I should make myself one.
Then I saw the iPhone come in, and the rest of the commercial played out, and I thought, “Awesome!”. I have nothing against the iPhone, and the Verizon “map for that” commercial was rather clever, but this one just cracks me up. It has a pop culture reference with zing. Who wouldn’t love that?
It seems I’m in a D mood lately. Dependency, dreaming, domestication… DDD.
This morning I had a realization how dependent I’ve become. I was thinking of going for a run or a bike ride, or both. I thought a bike ride on the trail would be nice, but I would have to go alone. That was a big deterrent in my mind (there’s the D again). Then I wondered, “What the hell is wrong with me? I can ride a bike alone.” Yet even after that realization, I was still debating (D) on whether or not to go.
I went. It was grand. I decided (D) to only ride, mainly because I couldn’t find the bike racks at the park (found them after I gave up the idea of the run, so I’ll know next time). Six and a half miles, mulling over and over in my mind why I don’t want to do (DD) things alone anymore. I no longer want to go out and grab dinner (D) by myself; I rarely go out to shop, because it will be by myself. I used to never have this problem. I did all sorts of things all by my lonesome.
Goal: get over it. Realization: I love having Raju to do stuff with. It’s like having a best friend around all the time. Except he’s not around all the time. He has a life. I have a life. We have a life. I should live my life. Starting with the bike ride this morning. Maybe I’ll follow up with lunch at the pho restaurant. Hopefully dinner will be shared over a nice glass of wine, though. Me sharing – that’s another topic.
This blog began in 2005 as I picked up from Kansas City and moved to California. It has been a repository of thoughts, both past and present, movie reviews, book reviews, and a peek into my art and my life. So if you've ever wondered what goes on under the Hatter's hat, here's a way to peek under the lid.
